It’s a tragedy.

In our society, if someone decides they want to be rich, their peers probably won’t respond too well.

There are a lot of people who don’t think wanting to be rich is very admirable.

We’re raised constantly hearing things like “money is the root of all evil” or “money doesn’t buy happiness”.

Does being poor make you happy?

If you break your leg and can’t afford to go to the hospital, does that make you happy?

People also say “I don’t want money because it will change me.”

The only person who can change you, is YOU.

Your personality doesn’t change with the amount of money you have, it simply makes you more of what you already are.

A person that is poor and selfish or prideful will be even more like that if they’re rich.

A person that is poor and generous will be an even more generous rich person.

It’s true that money won’t buy happiness.

Am I contradicting myself?

No. Happiness is a state of mind.

If you’re poor and unhappy, you’ll probably be just as unhappy when you’re rich unless you change your attitude.

But it’s certainly easier to be happy when you have money, because you aren’t faced with the difficult struggles that come with being poor. Such as a fear of being evicted and having nowhere to live, fear of your car breaking down, suffering from health problems because you can’t afford nutritious food, not being able to afford healthcare, the stress and worry of money troubles, etc.

Outside circumstances don’t determine your happiness. That’s something you have to change inside.

What makes even less sense is the saying “money is the root of all evil”.

Without money, we would have no roads to drive on, no parks for our kids to go to, no libraries, schools or churches.

Next time you hear a teacher or minister say that money is evil, recommend that they try to build their next church or school with just “love”.

Of all the success qualities and characteristics a person can have, there is one that is the foundation for all others.

When you have this quality, every other success trait either comes along with it (like motivation, a high risk tolerance, the ability to bounce back after failure, etc) or can be learned very easily.

What I’m talking about here is self confidence.

Self confidence in simple terms can be described as the belief you have in yourself and in your abilities.

If you are a self-confident person, you will be relatively free from doubt, and will go about your life in a very assured and relaxed manner.

However, there is a thin line between confidence, over-confidence and foolishness that’s best illustrated by an example: Bill Gates bidding $45 billion for Yahoo is confidence; had he bid $50 billion, it would have been overconfidence; and if he had bid $75 billion, that would have been foolishness.

So, you must know where to draw the line based on reasonable do-able presumptions, but before that, here’s how you can increase your self-confidence:

Dressed not to kill

You shouldn’t wear clothes that hang out too dry – they kill your confidence! Wear smart clothes and go out wearing them after a refreshing bath – or whatever else makes you feel good about yourself. Maybe it’s getting your hair done.

You’ll feel great when you know you’ve left a good impression on people. Okay, no one’s asking you to look like the Duke of Stonehenge – just wear reasonably presentable clothes that look good on you and don’t cost a bomb to buy.

Posture!

If your back is slouched and you walk slowly, then it’s obvious your self-confidence has taken a hit. Plus, this posture makes you look like the Hunchback of Notre Dame!

If you want to boost your self-confidence then walk erect and at a purposeful pace.

Do unto others what they DON’T do unto you

Yeah, you got that right! No one’s said a kind word to you, no one has complimented you, no one has paid any attention to you when you’re talking because they are always so full up of themselves.

Well, you do the opposite – compliment people, look at them when they are talking, listen patiently to them and say nice things. You will automatically be viewed as a positive person and your confidence levels will bet a 5-star rating.

Get moving

Exercising can build humungous muscles on your self-confidence. Work out, stay in shape, make friends, enjoy yourself – you’ve got the picture, so go ahead and do a quick exercise right now!

Lead from the front

Lead yourself from the front – don’t shy away from any tasks, speak up when you think it necessary (but don’t argue) and don’t be a backbencher.

Don’t fear anyone or anything. Just muster up the will and the courage to do things and your self-confidence will beef up on its own.

Kill the superego

Everyone has an ego, but if they dwell too much on it, then it grows in size and they begin feeling overly important about themselves.

Ego is not confidence. Cockiness is not confidence.

This is wrong – do not ever act pompous or be rude to anyone, because if you do then people will start ignoring or avoiding you, and that will puncture the balloon of your ego really hard, killing in one go whatever little self-confidence you had. Remember, the humbler you are, the higher your self-esteem goes!

To build self-confidence you have to give up on that defeatist attitude and start thinking positively. Sure, others may snicker, but let them, who cares! People with low self esteem may care what others think about them, but not you.

You know there’s this anonymous saying that goes, “It’s not who you are that holds you back, it’s who you think you’re not”.

“If it weren’t for the last minute, I wouldn’t get anything done.” – Anonymous

Procrastination. Lack of focus.

Are these your biggest weaknesses?

Once upon a time there was a brilliant and incredibly talented painter and sculptor.

He was also an ace procrastinator. He would only finish his work of art when his patrons threatened to stop giving him further funds.

His procrastination caught up with him late in life – he grieved that had he not given in to procrastination he would have gone on to achieve far greater levels in art and humanity.

He died a sad man.

Do you know who this person was?

None other than the great painter Leonardo da Vinci!

Had he fought off procrastination, he would have dazzled on a much bigger scale.

So what is this dangerous habit of procrastination all about, and how does one snap out of it?

Causes of Procrastination

Well, procrastination is the habit of postponing tasks until their deadline approaches or has already arrived. Procrastination is very common – almost every human puts off doing some task or the other on a daily basis.

People who procrastinate develop mental lethargy when they begin to think of any task as either Herculean (difficult) or so easy that it can be put off till the last minute – when they think in this manner, procrastination sets in, and here is how you can combat it:

Overcoming Procrastination

1. Develop mental muscles

Procrastination happens when you succumb to some of the “weak and meek” signals your brain sends you. The solution is to steel your mind and turn it into a gray-celled Superman.

Your new frame of mind must be programmed to lead you into reasoning that you are not obligated to do a certain task, rather you want to do it because it’s lying there on your plate and you’d like to get it over with before it gets rancid.

If you polish off tasks quickly, you will not feel the stress and strain that you normally feel if you procrastinate your work and do it at the nth hour.

2. Break it up, bring it down

Don’t think of a task as one humungous job that needs to be done – if you think like that, you’d have already begun procrastinating by now.

Think logically of the various steps involved in completing your task, and break it into smaller subtasks and then go about finishing them one by one.

You will get a rewarding sense of accomplishment after you finish every small task!

For example, if you have to do your tax returns, break the task down to (i) collecting financial documents, (ii) checking your bank accounts, (iii) checking expenses and grouping them, (iv) obtaining statements/certificates from companies who have given you loans, (iv) arriving at the net taxable income, and so on – we’re sure you get the idea.

3. Do something, get something

After you break up one task into small pieces, begin rewarding yourself for every sub-task you finish.

The reward can be anything – say, watching a TV show or playing your favorite game on the computer or taking a stroll down to say hi to a friend. The reward will keep you motivated enough to finish the task without screwing around on the job.

4. Create a system, and then don’t beat it

Once you get into the thick of finishing things, try and create a timetable for yourself – earmark time for fun, leisure and work, and then stick to it.

A little variation is okay, as we are all humans who will err every now and then, but on a macro level try making a system that suits you, which you can follow.

In the end, remember, no one is perfect – that’s why pencils have erasers! You’re human – you will make mistakes and learn from them.

There is no need to condemn yourself if you’ve just deviated from the track, because you can always come back on it if you follow the tips above. Good luck!

Did you go to work this morning because you wanted to, or because you had to?

If you said “had to”, you’re not in control of your wealth. Your money is in control of you.

Wealth begins in your mind.

It’s funny, over 95% of the population here in the US is being controlled by money.

Most people are in debt up to their eyeballs. There are few who actually have any wealth.

Albert Einstein once said, “a problem cannot be solved at the level of consciousness in which it occurs.”

By operating with tunnel vision, and not being aware of the opportunities and solutions available, you’re stuck with the same problems.

Champions and high achievers got that way by studying those who have created wealth.

Middle class people believe formal education is the answer to creating wealth, despite the fact that very few academics are wealthy.

They get confused when this education doesn’t bring them financial success.

High achievers value academic education, they just don’t think it has a lot to do with becoming rich.

Rich people trade ideas and products that solve problems for money. The middle class and poor trade their time for dollars.

It’s all about your mindset.

150 years ago or so, Karl Marx was positive that the working class, as a whole, would rise up and overcome oppression if
only they had an opportunity.

But what he didn’t think about what the poverty and scarcity driven mindset of most people. Even if you give a middle class or poor person a million dollar opportunity, they will find a way to keep it from happening.

They have a different perception of what is going on around them. Their self image tells them they belong where they are.

They don’t understand “reality” from a world class performers point of view.

As a result, they self sabatoge.

Are you self sabatoging?

It could be a fear of success that’s holding you back.

I love to go to the movies. I love to sit up close, really get engaged and lose myself in the story.

It’s such a great stress reliever - I usually leave the movie theater feeling very refreshed and creative.

However, going to the movies is pretty “dangerous” these days. It can create a fear of success.

Let me explain.

The more movies and television I watch, the more aware I am of all the negative programming going on.

Particularly when it comes to “feel good” movies and “family” or “kid friendly” movies.

Kid movies are pretty bad when it comes to this. I was at a family get-together the other day and happened to pass through the room where the kids were watching a movie.

During the few minutes while I was in there, I noticed the “bad guy” was wearing an Armani suit, a giant glittery watch, and was standing next to a Ferrari.

At the time, he was lying to the “good guy” about something, and then started to tell the good guy that if he would just go along with this plan he could make lots and lots of money. Of course the good guy wasn’t interested in any of that.

Movies like this are a big hit because they’re written for the majority. The majority of the population is not successful, and these movies are written with the intention of making non-successful people feel good about themselves.

They’re designed to make successful people look either evil or crazy (or both), so people who aren’t successful can feel better about the fact that they aren’t DOING anything about the dreams and goals they have.

The messages portray success as a negative thing.

While it results in huge box office numbers (because misery loves company and people love to watch and read things that portray those who actually DO achieve their dreams in a bad light), it’s very harmful to those of us who want to succeed.

Let’s talk about these “feel good” movies.

You know the type.

The star of the movie tries and tries and tries to get rich.

Their family is SO sad.

Their kids are always crying because they aren’t ever around.

Somehow they suddenly become a huge jerk in the process of trying to make money.

Sometimes - actually, make that most of the time - they finally succeed.

They make a ton of money, they buy a big house and a nice car and everything is going great for about 5 minutes.

Then out of the blue, one of two things happens:

1 - They suddenly realize what’s “really” important in life, and that chasing success all this time was just silly. They proceed to throw away everything they’ve worked for and live happily ever after.

2 - Or, the new friends they acquired after becoming successful have bad intentions.

One of them stabs the star of the show in the back in some way or another - and the star has to choose whether to become a horrible miserable person like all of their successful new friends, or go back to being a good little poor person.

Ok, now I realize not every single movie has that exact storyline. But I know you’ll agree that most are pretty much spot on what I just said.

The first scenario really doesn’t make any sense at all. What kind of sane person would work their entire life to succeed at something and then the very moment they succeed, decide they no longer want it?

And this is a GOOD thing?

We’re supposed to model these kinds of people?

The second scenario is just as bizarre.

If you’ve studied wealthy, successful people, you know the majority of them got that way by being good people.

By NOT being lazy like 98% of the population.

By NOT playing victim and trying to get a handout like so many people do.

By NOT lying, cheating, stealing and being an untrustworthy person.

They worked hard, didn’t give up when things got hard, faced their fears, got out of their comfort zone, swallowed their pride . . . and so forth.

Yes, that’s what it really takes to be a successful person.

Sure, there are plenty of ways you can get rich without any of that. (Of course, staying rich is another matter, as those who get rich quick without changing who they are inside typically lose it all)

As a general rule, people who get rich and stay that way - and are ALSO successful and balanced in other areas of their life, got that way by becoming a BETTER person - not the other way around.

Remember that the next time you see one of these types of movies.

Be careful about what you expose yourself to and let yourself believe.

Watching movies like these creates a stereotype in your mind that rich people are bad.

They can cause you to fear success, because your mind starts to believe that having money will make you a bad person, or that people won’t like you if you are successful.

Be especially careful about what you expose your kids too. They are even more susceptible to these messages. It’s too bad that most “kid friendly” movies portray success as such a negative thing.

I actually stopped watching movies like these about 5 months ago, and it has had a positive impact on my income and overall happiness.

I still go to the movies of course. But I’m very wary of what I watch. Luckily, movies with this type of storyline can be spotted from a mile away.

Instead, I watch movies that are truly inspiring and have a positive message. For instance, “The Pursuit of Happyness” was a very enjoyable movie.

I’d really love to hear what your favorite inspirational movies are.

Let me know in the comments.

Productivity is important.

Everyone knows that.

Most people would like to be able to get stuff done faster than they do, so they can spend less time working. (and some crazy people want to work the same number of hours but just accomplish more.)

Below are some excellent tips for being super productive. This is what I personally do to get a whole bunch done in a very short time, so I can spend very little time working.

Without going into too much detail and boring you, let me just say that before I started doing these things I was a total mess.

Never got anything done. I would “work” all day, sometimes 10-11 hrs a day, and never really got anything very useful finished.

I FINALLY started buckling down, and really focused on getting something important done every minute of the day that I was “working” - instead of doing “busy work” like I did before.

And wow did it help.

Nowadays I get done in 3-4 hours what most people take a few DAYS to do.

Only reason I told you that is because I find I’m more likely to implement something when I see it has actually helped another person.

Point is, USE this advice. Don’t just read it and say “that’s nice”, then go back to doing whatever pointless busy work you were just doing.

To-Do List Rules - Never write out your to do list the same day. This starts out the day unproductively. The day before, write out your list on a REAL physical paper - not in wordpad or your pda or anything electronic.

Prioritize your list

Put a maximum of 4 high priority items that must be finished that day. Write them in a way that it is absolutely clear which items are high priority. Begin the day by knocking out those priority items, then move on to the others.

Multi-tasking Myth - When people try to multi-task, most of their time is spent moving from one thing to another. Their focus is completely scattered, it’s hard to concentrate on any one thing, and practically nothing ever gets accomplished.

Focus on one task at a time. Don’t even think about the others until it’s finished.

Stay in control - In his “Time Management Action Secrets” teleseminar, Alex Mandossian gives a great piece of advice that I regularly follow. He talks about eliminating interruptions.

To do this, you set aside a specific period of time every day where NO interruptions are allowed.

Turn off the volume on the phone, close your email and instant messengers, don’t look at any regular snail mail, don’t check voicemail, and don’t allow any family members or friends to interrupt you. (Determine ahead of time what qualifies as an emergency situation, and don’t let anything else disrupt you.)

Commit to a specific time each day.

This makes it easier to enforce, and also helps you develop the habit. By doing it every single day for 3 weeks it will become a natural habit.

It will be difficult at first, of course. But it will become easier after time.

Batch Tasks - Create a daily habit of combining tasks. For instance, take the dog on a walk every day right after lunch. (or you could do it right before lunch…may be a good weight loss plan). Then pick up the newspaper/check the mail as you return home.

If it’s on the way, pass by your outdoor trash can before going back inside, and quickly toss out any junk mail, before it winds up in your “junk drawer”.

When inside, as you walk over to the trash to throw something away, glance around the room to see if anything else can be thrown away.

Improve Your Typing Skills - Obviously being able to type quickly means getting things done faster. This may make a bigger difference in your productivity than you think it will though. All of those extra minutes saved really do add up.

That’s all for now.

Rather than give you some giant list of productivity tips, I’d rather give you these few good ones so you can implement them and actually see some results.

Trying to change TOO many habits and patterns all at once is just a recipe for disaster.

My suggestion is to take ONE of these tips, implement it for at least a week, then start doing another one.

Before you click away, make a plan RIGHT NOW to implement one of these before you forget. Doesn’t matter which one.

Later I’ll share more tips with you. Hopefully you’ll be ready.

Does confrontation always have to be a bad thing?

When most people thing of confrontation, they think of negativity.

That’s because most confrontations are personal attacks.

Most of the population doesn’t know how to interact with each other when conflict arises.

They take things personally, get defensive and resort to insults.

No wonder so many people are divorced.

The biggest key to positive confrontation, the kind where you solve problems and move forward, is keeping it about the situation - NOT the other person.

Because after all, it IS about the situation. The situation is what needs to be cleared up.

When you start a sentence with “you” or “you are”, be very careful about the next thing that comes out of your mouth, because it will be taken personally.

If a particular situation isn’t going your way, rather than get angry and blame everything on the other person, take a step back, detach emotionally, and look at it logically.

I find it helps to completely remove yourself and the other person from the whole thing.

Take a third person view. Pretend these are 2 people you don’t even know.

As difficult as it may be, put yourself in each person’s shoes and analyze it from their view.

Ask yourself “Why might “Fred” be acting this way?”

“What reason might he have for thinking this is the right thing to do?”

And more importantly, “How might Fred react if Lola reacts by saying _____?”

Conflict can be difficult to deal with when you’re an emotional, right brained person.

Step outside yourself, and try thinking like a left-brain person would. Picture the whole thing like an equation that needs to be figured out.

What do you really want to see happen?

All pride and emotions aside, what are the best steps to take to get the desired outcome?

If the other person has reacted in a defensive way, what might you have said to provoke that? How can you resolve that so you can tackle the real issue at hand?

Take all emotion and personal feelings out, and you’ll begin to see a big difference.

Confrontation will stop being such a scary, negative thing, and any problems that arise will actually be solved.

Have you watched “The Secret”?

If you have no idea what I’m talking about, go to: http://thesecret.tv

I get a lot of questions from people who have watched it, and want to know:

… “Now what?”

…”What do I DO NOW?”

…”I’m doing it. Why isn’t it working?”

You may have these same questions.

Why?

Because it’s BULL.

Now before you start freaking out and sending me emails about how it’s based on science and all, give me a few minutes to explain what I mean.

The Law of Attraction is real.

All this talk about Quantum Physics and stuff is real.

It’s already transformed the lives of thousands of people across the world who have put the ideas into practice…including my own. Yes, that’s right. I believe in it.

BUT - I HATE that it implies you can just sit on your butt and daydream about what you want - then magically wake up in an oceanfront mansion tomorrow.

It’s destroying and frustrating so many people, because they believe that’s what is going to happen.

Sorry to say, it doesn’t work like that. (Hey, I wish it did just as much as you do)

But it doesn’t.

The reality is, the Law of Attraction is a TOOL that can be used to get you where you want to be much FASTER than without it.

Just like the movie implies, sometimes it will seem “magical” how quickly it happens.

But it’s not pure magic, because nothing happens until you DO something.

You must act.

Sometimes, it doesn’t even take a lot of action. But it does take some.

What is your opinion of The Secret?

I’m interested to know.

Tell me using the comment form below.

Did you know that complaining is severely damaging to your health, financial success and your entire life?

Studies have shown people who complain frequently tend to have poor health, less satisfying and enduring relationships, and don’t tend to do as well in their jobs or make as much money.

The key to getting what you want in life is focusing your energy and attention on what you do want, rather than what you don’t want. By complaining, the focus is always on what’s wrong, what’s going badly.

So why do people continue to do it?

Well first of all, it’s a habit.

Most people have been doing it their entire lives.

In fact, the majority don’t even realize they’re doing it half the time.

Most people complain much more frequently than they think they do.

Don’t believe me? For the next 24 hours, pay attention to how many people begin a conversation with you by whining about something that didn’t go the way they wanted it to.

The most common reasons why people complain (and why it can be so difficult to stop) is:

- It’s a good conversation starter.

It’s much easier to begin a conversation with someone and find a common ground by complaining. (Can you believe it’s going to rain AGAIN today?…).

To get over this particular hurdle, rather than use a complaint to start talking to someone - complement them. It’s a much more positive way to start a conversation.

- Complaining keeps people from taking action.

This is the #1 reason most people complain. That way they can procrastinate and have plenty of excuses why they aren’t reaching their goals. There’s always a reason why it’s not possible to do what needs to be done. It’s much easier to complain about it than it is to find a solution.

Not only that, but for some crazy reason, we’ve been taught that it’s okay to talk negatively about yourself, but it’s not okay to “brag” about what’s going well!

- Preexcuses failure

Another very common reason people complain is to pre excuse failure. For instance, walking to a meeting late while complaining about how bad the traffic was, how there was a huge line at the dry cleaner, etc.

It takes all the responsibility off of that person, they no longer have to own up to the fact that they should have left earlier or been more prepared.

The first step to stop complaining is to become aware of it, then replace that complaint about what you don’t like, with what you do want.

The goal is not to act like everything is great and pretend you are no longer bothered by anything, but instead to seek out solutions.

Instead of playing the victim and simply stating that the situation is not what you want - figure out what you DO want, and seek to create that.

What can you do about the situation? Don’t look for problems, look for solutions.

I have a really important question to ask you, and I want you think really hard about it, and then answer it honestly.

Would you rather be financially successful or spend more time with your family and friends?

Got your answer?

Good.

Did you say that you would rather be financially successful?

If so, you chose the wrong answer.

If you said you’d rather spend more time with your family, you chose the wrong answer.

What? This makes no sense!

Let me tell you something that could change the way you look at success and life dramatically. This can make a huge difference in your life if you really let it sink in.

WHY did you choose one?

People who are successful - TRULY successful in every area of their life, do NOT choose. They refuse to choose. They refuse to let one thing be more important than the other.

It’s all about having a healthy balance between the things that are important to you.

Who says you can’t have financial success AND also care about and spend time with your family?

Who says you can have money AND be spiritual?

You’ve been brainwashed into thinking you have to choose.

But if you look at this differently, you’ll see it really doesn’t make any sense to think about it that way.

Which is more important, your heart or your brain?

Obviously, the answer is both! You can’t choose one or the other, you won’t survive without both of them.

It’s the same thing with success.

I don’t care what anyone says, you need success in your life to be happy - whatever success means to you. It doesn’t have to be financial success, it can be excelling at a particular sport or being a wonderful parent, but you do need to feel a sense of accomplishment from something you do.

Grow, move forward. Don’t sit still. Definitely do not move backward. Both of those will only make you feel discouraged, worthless and depressed.

Starting today, right now, I want you to start challenging the current options you see.

Take away the limits. Pretend if you have to. Next time you come to a point where you think you have to make a choice - pretend for a moment that you don’t. Ask yourself these two questions:

- “Do I REALLY have to choose?”
- “How can I choose both?”

This forces your mind to come up with possibilities for how to have both.

I think you’ll find that once you open your eyes to this possibility, you’ll find there are many circumstances where you can “have your cake and eat it too”.